): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
