He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
