The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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