Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
