He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
