just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
