Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
