I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
