Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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