well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
