1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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