If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
