Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
