so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
