Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Who did Billy Mays play for?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
