Don't make out with my wife yet
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
