This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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