Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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