Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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