I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
