I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Michael Bay diarrhea
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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