Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
