you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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