U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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