dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
