That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
