check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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