I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
