Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
