I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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