this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
