u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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