I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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