how can u be prego again
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
