I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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