hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
