kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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