Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
