Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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