he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
