doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
