I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
