Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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