And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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