some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
