oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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