By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
