Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Never underestimate the power of titties
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