That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize