So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
