Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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