Even water is tasting like jack daniels
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just high enough for therapy.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
