I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize