Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
