Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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