do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
