My room smells like vodka and shame
i jhust puked up my retainher.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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