Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
