is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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