i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize