Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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