Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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