I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
