We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
