i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize