Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
